I read somewhere that women end to dislike other women whose friends are mostly male. For some reason, it creates feelings of mistrust in relationships. Case in point, my beloved sister has been on both sides of this bench. She's been the girl best friend: a little sister type to a few male friends of hers and she's also been (and currently is) the serious girlfriend of the guy whose best friend is female.
I can understand why she would be wary in her present situation. The female best friend has been in the guy's life longer, they share inside jokes and mutual contacts, and while the girl in my sis' position has to earn the guy's trust, the female friend has already earned it and might actually be able to call some shots based squarely upon it. She's already on the tenth floor of the building while my sis has just found the correct address.
And also, there's the "Plan B" notion that some girls make friends with men by accident: while trying to prove herself romantically compatible with the guy, she ends up falling into the dreaded "little sister" position and simply becomes "one of the boys". Can you imagine her turmoil as she is forced to stand by and observe her guy best friend date woman after woman? A lot of times, women in this position use spite and the male's trust as their ally and whisper things in the guy's ear that may complicate the his romantic relationship. Ever happened to you?
With all of this said and considered, being the female best friend does have its perks. The people of my gender can be, well, quite dramatic, difficult, gossips, and other things I find I can do without. I should know, I have a tendency to be all of those aforementioned things. As a long-standing member of the "Best female friend to a male" Club, I've gotta say that the friendships with men require a lot less effort than those with fellow females.
As of right now, my best friend is my fiancé. Awww, I know it's sweet. Currently, the position for my best platonic friend is considering seeking applicants. I made really good friends with a couple of girls when I first came back to Cali, but those friendships turned boring and sour (and quite catty if I do say so myself) and ended as swiftly as they began. Ever since high school, my best friend has been male, I'm not sure why. No, it's not the "Plan B" thing. It's more like we belonged to a group of friends and then just started hanging out platonically one-on-one. Romance was never an issue. Until now...
One of the personal trainers at the gym struck up a conversation with me while I was refilling my water bottle at the drinking fountain. Apparently he read my name on the computer when he checked me in earlier. We chatted, he's into kickboxing and...um... personal training??? I don't even remember. Now, I don't want to sound naive, but do people just chat anymore? I mean, with no sexual inclinations whatsoever? I'm wondering if people of the opposite sex, in the same age group, can just have a getting-to-know-you chat without it meaning anything romantic.
No guy is in the market for a female best friend who happens to be in a loving and trusting relationship... unless he's gay. Which is fine. My last two best guy friends are gay, and I love them dearly. But I can't just be on the prowl for fun gay men needing a female confidant. And the thing that irks me is that there is no way to just try to get to know someone of the opposite sex without looking like some kind of skanky flirt. And the guy will get the wrong idea that you're interested if you try. Nope, there's no way. There is simply no way to have a good, straight, friend of the opposite sex unless you've known each other since your diaper-days.
Well, I suppose it doesn't matter much, anyway. Like I said before, my best friend position is filled and when it comes to the platonic thing? Well, everything in its time, I guess.
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