What not to say

I wonder that I may be a bit too understanding sometimes. That my benevolent patience and tolerance (and not to mention humility) could abound to a fault. Despite these very admirable qualities I possess, someone has still managed to successfully piss me off today. Lemme tell you about it. Hold on, I'll preface this by saying that I understand social awkwardness and I know that some conversations can leave one without words, but this is something else. This is a complete disregard to... to everything.

A male friend of mine (someone I used to date) had been asking me to take some time and catch up with him lately, especially since the recent events (if you don't know, click here and read all the posts following because I haven't written about much else). He's been behaving like a very concerned friend, intent upon making himself more than available to my needs right now whether they be talking, listening, whatever. Today was the first day we saw each other since the incident and that was on purpose. I simply wasn't ready to see him. I wasn't ready to see him because... because of what I knew he'd say.

We were getting on fine, I was updating him on how I've been handling everything when he asked who the men that abused me were. I told him they were co-workers at my old job. He took this information in and then said,

"Well, be wary of the people at your new job. The guys I mean."

Only a few words, I know. But it came out feeling like, "Well, I hope you've learned your lesson."

"What are you saying?" I asked, "that this may happen again?"

"No, Porscha," he replied. "I'm just saying that this is a really silly situation."

Ummmm... WHAT?!!! This is why I avoided seeing this person. This is the reason right here.

I managed to keep calm but I got up and left shortly after that. I understand the depth of the topic we were discussing and how it can loom overwhelmingly between two people. I understand how difficult it can be knowing the right thing to say. Nothing spoken can heal me. Some words, however, smooth over my wounds like a balm while other words scrape into them like sand. If you don't know what to say, here's what to do: lean your body toward me with a concerned look on your face and be silent. If you're afraid of saying the wrong thing, don't say anything at all.

Later on I called to tell him how his words made me feel, but I decided against it and hung up mid-ring. Instead (in a more passive-aggressive way, perhaps) I decided to write it out.

DO NOT EVER SAY THAT TO ME AGAIN.

Thanks.